Jag har tidigare här på bloggen skrivit en post om saker man helst inte vill upptäcka att man har läst. Den gången handlade det om Kissie. Denna gång ska det handla om något som faktiskt är ännu dummare (jepp, det är möjligt!).

Den blogg jag vill kommentera denna gång är dock inte bara dum. Den är dessutom skrämmande på många sätt och vis. Jag talar om shelleytherepublican.com. Jag har valt att inte lägga en länk till den eftersom det skulle lyfta bloggen på olika sökmotorer, ping back-funktioner etc. Ni som vill kan säkert göra en snabb C&P.

Några smakprov från bloggen (återigen inga länkar, ni hittar dem säkert):

As you know, typical hand-gun magazines only carry ten rounds of ammunition. That’s barely enough to defend yourself from a horde of negro-housebreakers determined to rape your daughter. You need more power, and that’s why the brilliant gunsmiths from Glock have managed to construct this ultra-lightweight extended magazine. Made from the highest-grade aluminium with a five-year guaranteed spring this magazine packs ten rounds plus one in the chamber: Thirty-one sinners dead!

[…]

But that’s not all – if you use the discount-code “God Is Love”, ChristianBooksAndThings will give you half-price shipping and the home-schooling textbook of your choice! Don’t delay – buy now before the Obamacrats make sensible self-defence weapons like this illegal.

Ta in denna text med all sin rasism, allt sitt hat, all sin gudsnådelighet …

Compared to the miracles of the Resurection or the Pentecost, “Spidey’s” web-slinging act is tawdry stuff. That night Pastor and I fed those idolatrous comic-books into a blazing furnace, and later I repaid my friend with a selection of Jack Chick tracts. My friend was quite angry and refused to talk to me. I’m sure one day he will know that eternal salvation is worth far more than a bunch of old comic-books.

Visst kan vi förstå att författarens vän inte blev så glad över detta. En empatisk människa, en kristen människa, hade lämnat tillbaka böckerna förstås.

Visst ni förresten att pokémon är ett exempel på japansk hentai (lite bakgrundsstudier skulle kanske hjälpa)? Dessutom är Pokémon propaganda för Darwin (de utvecklas ju!). Visste ni förresten att pokémon (djuren alltså) karakteriseras av “liberal alternative-lifestyles and devil-worship”?

Metapod är ett problem i sig eftersom denna “burka-clad pokeman is an advert for children to turn away from Jesus Christ, as the player who can evolve the most pokémons into Islamofascist Metapods is at an advantage”. Jigglypuff är “the only pokeman to be gay and out”. Vidare: “Jigglypuff’s trademark move is to sing songs which entice characters into a drug-like trance of sexual debauchery”. Ja, just det, så var det ju …

Ta också in denna insändare:

Dear Shelley,

The other day I heard my oldest boy talking about his Pokemon-game. I heard him speak boastfully to his younger sister that he was the the most powerful “pokemon trainer” in the land because he had collected two-hundred and fifty poke-men, and that he was the king of the world.

Just then I remembered what you said about Pokemon’s un-biblical influence on kids – that it encourages them to commit the sins of pride and greed and distracts them from Bible study. At that moment I knew my parental duty. I went to the shed and got a heavy-hammer from my husband’s old tool-box. I annointed the hammer with some Holy-Oil and said a prayer: “Jesus, let this hammer be guided by YOUR WILL and YOUR JUDGMENT”. Just then I felt the Holy-sprit seize control over my entire body, and I knew it was time to go to work:

I went to my son’s room where he was playing that idolatrous Nintendo and told him that Jesus had revealed to me that he must smash his game-boy and repent of his sins.

“No mum!”, he cried, “It took me a whole year to save up for that”, complained my son. “Please, no!” he begged – but I knew that was just the demons inside of him talking. I grabbed his arms, and with his hand inside mine we clasped the shaft of the hammer and brought the hammer down heavily onto his Nintendo. It shattered to tiny peices with a deafening crash.”No!”, he cried again, as Christ’s hammer pulverized the evil games-console, “No!” he shrieked again as the judgment of God reduced that foreign-made contraption to dust and splinters.

Finally, when it was all over my son lay sobbing in his bed. The game was just a collection of broken parts on the dented table table. I prayed to Jesus, offering my thanks for giving me the strength to do what had to be done. I knew that in time Jesus would make my son thankful: He would come to appreciate the tough decision I had made, for today his soul had been saved from the evil Pokemon.

Thank you, for keeping myself and hundreds of moms informed about the dangers of Pokemon. If I had not read your article my son would still be playing this game today, and who knows – he might have become a homosexual or a terrorist!

Det är ju så att man inte vet vad man ska göra för att rädda detta stackars barn. Och vad sägs om följande:

By the age of 13, most children who have been substantially exposed to Pokemon begin to develop dangerous anti-social habits. The lucky few become withdrawn and reclusive, however the vast majority show worse tendencies: Some experiment with homosexuality, others may rebel against Christianity, converting to Islam or worse: Atheism. If not placed in a caring, Christian home the teenage Pokemon fan is on a one-way ticket to hell.

[Bild på cosplayer i Mewtoo-dräkt].

Mewtoo – the psychic cat: In order to collect this Poke-man, kids must attend a Nintendo “roadshow” where they are made to pledge allegiance to the King of Japan in return for receiving this UR (Ultra-Rare) character. Children are told that if they betray the blood-oath, a horde of pokemon will smash their brains.

[Bild på ung flicka i Pikachu-dräkt.]

This young woman has turned her back on the Christian institution of marriage. This sort of indecent behavior is normal in the pagan land of Japan – but do we really want to import their foreign vices into our godly land?

[Bild på cosplayer i pokémondräkt.]

True pokemon fans like to cos-play: In this case the wearing what is known as a “fur-suit”. This blue monstrosity is yet another of the 250 pokemon – so rare that it has not even been given a name by Nintendo, nor does it appear in the game manual. Kids are told that they will be able to obtain it once they walk out of their family and renounce Jesus.

[Bild på cosplayer klädd som Ash.]

Pokemon is famous for it’s trans-gender characters. In this case, “Ash” the main character of the first series is what is commonly known as a “ladyboy”. This outlandish outfit is a common atire for prostitutes on the streets of Japan. Would you really want your kids wearing these kinds of clothes?

Det hela är så förvirrat, så okunnigt och så präglat av självgodhet att man blir yr. Ska sådana här människor få ha rösträtt är frågan som tränger sig på trots att jag förstås vet vad svaret måste vara. Dock: vad ska man göra för att röka ut denna primitivism, denna okunnighet, dessa livsfarliga attityder?

Jag tar tacksamt emot alla lagliga och rimliga förslag!

PS Sonen uppmärksammar mig via sprakig skypelina på frågan hur vi alls kan veta att detta är på riktigt och inte antingen ett intardtroll som löpt amok eller en svidande satir? Man kan ju i så fall konstatera att det blotta faktum att jag uppfattar det som möjligt att bloggen är sann är skrämmande …

PPS Upptäcker nu att en av de bloggar som denna blogg hänvisar till (billybobneck.com) faktiskt kan vara en satir: här och här. Där fick man sig en tankeställare …