För att få lite variation har jag skrivit en saga som jag tänkte lägga upp här på bloggen. Kanske kommer den senare att iklädas seriedräkt. He-hm.
THE KNIGHT, THE WIZARD, THE SORCERESS, THE MONSTER AND THE NO-LIKERS
Chapter 1. The Legend Begins
Once upon a time there was a wizard and a sorceress. The sorceress thought the wizard was cute, but the wizard didn’t notice her, he just kept on throwing fireballs. The sorceress was very angry. She cast a spell on the wizard that gave him bad breath.
Then this Knight of Light came by and wanted to be polite. He said “Hello” to the wizard. When the wizard said “Hello” back the knight was almost overcome as the spell’s evil spirits tried to eat his nose. The knight said to the wizard “I don’t like you!”. The wizard began to cry because no-one likes when someone is mad at you, especially not a Knight of Light.
Then the red cloud of bloodlust appeared over the wizard. He picked up his grimoire of necromantic spells and tried to summon a verruca gnome that would follow and pain the knight. But the spell miscast. A giant monster devoured the knight and then lied down and slept!
Chapter 2. 142 dwarves and a lemon
The wizard was first terrified, but then felt amused. He wandered away into the dark, great world on a quest to find someone who liked him. He went to the deepest mine-shafts, the highest mountains, the biggest seas, the darkest castles, the most haunted graveyards, the nicest villages, the greatest cities and the most terrifying swamps. Nowhere could he find someone who liked him, nowhere could he find a friend.
Suddenly he saw the sorceress coming after him, running. He waited. When the sorceress reached the wizard, she fell to her knees, panting. Then she started to talk. Here’s what she said: “PleaseforgivemeitwasmyfaultIputthespellonyou … I’vecomerunningallthiswaytotellyou
thiswithonlyalemonand142dwarvesforcompany … I’mveryscaredandcoldandhadtofightanarmyofblackbloodstogethereandI’mverysorry.”
If this story was to end here, the wizard would have forgiven the sorceress, the spell would have been lifted, they would have been happy in all their days and the Knight of Light would have been left in the monster’s stomach. But, sure, we all want the Knight of Light back, and so the wizard didn’t forgive the sorceress.
Chapter 3. The epic ending
The wizard was now convinced that no-one liked him. Then he picked up his staff and went to challenge the most terrifying enemies in hand-to-hand combat until he would meet a gruesome death and have his soul ripped ro pieces before being boiled down into the 17’th devils cauldron. The wizard became known in the ten known Imperiums for single-handedly having destroyed the troll Sludgedrool, the vampire Wolfgang and his family, the werewolf of 2000 devoured children and a verruca gnome.
All went well until the wizard met a gruesome death and had his soul ripped to pieces at the hand of the Dark Lord. But when the 17’th devil was just about to boil his soul-pieces down, the wizard killed the 17’th devil, respawned, and repayed the Dark Lord. The wizard was out wandering in the great, dark, world, when he heard tales of a great beast from a lone, robed lunatic. The wizard set off to find it. When he reached the cave of a million corpses he met the monster. He immediately set to work, slicing and dicing the monster, but his staff could not penetrate it’s scaly skin save.
Just when his doom seemed to loom near the sorceress appeared. She cast a ball of lightning at the monster, and then again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until it’s stomach was split open. A Knight of Light tumbled out of it. “You’ve saved my life”, the Knight of Light said. “I owe you it!” Then the wizard said to the sorceress: “You saved my life too, I too owe you my life!”. And so it ended happily. The wizard and the sorceress married and got one half each of the Knight of Light.